Fishing = slow.

Yesterday I went fishing with my fairy godmother. We drove out to a small pond, sat down, and cast our lines into the water. Six hours later, I had pulled up an old boot, a lava lamp, two soggy origami cranes, three typewriter keys, and a scuba mask.

"Fishing sucks," I said, disappointed with my lack of fish.

"Perhaps it does dear, but do you know what the lesson from this experience is?" asked my fairy godmother.

"Umm..."

"The lesson is this: people do not care about the environment and throw their trash anywhere they please, including in this pond, thus killing the fish and ruining our outing!"

I stared at her with wide eyes. I'd never seen her so angry in my life.

"Oh, and one more thing," said my fairy godmother, "Sometimes, there just aren't enough fish in the pond. That's when you've got to remember that there's a whole sea out there."

"How long does it take to get to the pier from here?" I asked. "I want to go fishing there."

"About an hour," she replied.

"Well, I'll just have to start fishing late," I said.