I'm the Dread Pirate Kelstiki. Fear me.

Here I am, Captain Kelstiki, in a mock-up of my ship with First Mate Boo Boo. This is actually the row boat that my crew wittled to look like the real thing. Arg, matey.

A dream is a WISH your heart makes....

....when you're fast asleep... *hums tune*

It kind of looks like the castle is balancing on Robin's head.

Anyway.

Sleeping Beauty's castle never looked so gold! I'm sure they added the embellishments in honor of their 50th anniversery. That's half a century! Disney is old...

Ooo.... the tiki tiki tiki room!!

I went to Disneyland with Robin, her mumsie, her mumsie's friend Mary Anne, and Laina! It was oodles of fun. This picture was taken outside of the Tiki Room. That's a funny attraction...with the burlesque birdies and the fantastically fantastic flowers. I'm proud to say that I sang along.

This is how I feel.

Happy (belated) Easter!

Laina and I were festive on Easter and wore festive headbands with cute little spring-time animals. Well, Noor was feeling a little jealous, so she decided to be a flower. Aww.




While Noor was parading around with her little headress, Brooke and I practiced walking. She and her twin, Ashley, are so cute. They're already about 9 months old! Every time they visit, they look bigger. *sigh* They grow up so fast... *tear tear* I love my little cousins.

Out of disobedience, fear, and tears, a hero emerges... Noor the Doggie Wonder!

It was a beautiful day. The wild flowers (a.k.a. weeds) swayed in the breeze that spoke of summer. Noor guarded the door to the deck, lying happily in the sun. Unfortunately, she was a little too happy, since a few minutes later, she was fast asleep. That was when disaster struck.

While Noor dozed on the deck, MussoliNiNi Mao Zecat (the kitty, whose real name is Ni. He just wants to take over the world, so he changed his name... long story. See the blog entry from 3/23.) decided to take advantage of the situation, and sauntered out the door, past Noor, and into the wide open wonderfulness that is our yard. Little did he know that without his front claws, and without the guardianship of the ever-loyal Noor, he was vulnerable to the wild beasts that come out at dusk (otherwise known as coyotes).

Meanwhile, Mother was in the kitchen, cleaning, when she happened to notice the door to the deck... wide open.

"(audible gasp) Oh no! Where's that cat?! NI!!! WHERE ARE YOU?" she yelled desperately throughout the house, checking all of his favorite spots. There was no sign of the cute little black kitty who happened to be slightly rebellious.

"Noor, go find Ni!" ordered my mother.

Noor, being the lazy dog she is, sat in the sun a bit before setting off on her quest. But when she began, it was in earnest. Noor searched high and low, low and high for her beloved Ni, but he was nowhere to be found. Then, Noor remembered something of mild importance. Whenever Ni escaped, he always came back home absolutely filthy... which meant that he was probably rolling around in the dirt under the porch! Noor's hunch was correct. There he was, dirtier than ever. Noor let out an exasperated sigh before herding Ni back to the house.

During this afternoon of adventure and excitement, Mother was so worried that she cried as she was about to call Dad about the awful news. Right as she was about to push the "Talk" button, she heard barking, and a couple of meows. Turning around, there on the other side of the glass door were the two pets! She was so happy that she cried even more.

Needless to say, Ni got many kisses and a few chastisements after that episode, while Noor basked in the glory of her heroic deed for the rest of the day. Huzzah for the animals!

And that's the end of this dramatic tale. For lighter reading try the silly story I wrote in my archives. It's quite... well, just read it.

Toast and googlism.

Googlism for: toast
toast is being served
toast is charity
toast is toast
toast is brown
toast is good
toast is nothin but heathers on permanent rerun
toast is never satisfied
toast is the very thread which holds together the uneasy seams of modern society
toast is shot
toast is toast unable to deliver message to the following address
toast is a process
toast is the most
toast is more fattening than bread
toast is england by nick ahad england fans will be able to enjoy a 7am pint as they watch the world cup in pubs this summer
toast is fairy bread
toast is not really a singular food
toast is mine
toast is deceptively simple
toast is by far the best i've ever seen
toast is a recognized leader in helping advertisers worldwide to manage their online marketing campaigns and reach targeted markets through pay
toast is an oakland based company offering chic yet comfortable clothing and accessories for women
toast is ready by sleahy
toast is burning by shanna
toast is to cenes
toast is more than just warm bread
toast is a little bit confused
toast is cooked bread
toast is a mini speech and
toast is the first charity in the country to set up actions groups
toast is a mini
toast is "white or wheat?" but for us
toast is bread at its finest
toast is bliss
toast is hip
toast is socially acceptable for dinner only on sunday nights
toast is a truly marvellous foodstuff
toast is essentially burnt bread
toast is well prepared and appropriately presented
toast is exposed to the turning effect of gravity
toast is an internationally
toast is connected to the following things
toast is true
toast is a speech in miniature
toast is a software package for image reconstruction in optical diffuse tomography
toast is the core program of the toast software package
toast is made from 3/4toast is co
toast is prepared to make this limit go away as soon as possible
toast is a planet that was discovered by earth astronomers late its second millennium
toast is the devil
toast is skäl
toast is robbed of context and offered to the public as something
toast is an
toast is given directly afterwards
toast is so easy to prepare
toast is an excellent source of wisdom
toast is as efficient
toast is cooking up your discs
toast is still the best cd
toast is always based upon the type of occasion
toast is wantonly
toast is being held by someone they take an 'a' heat critical
toast is a reasoned and controlled event
toast is baking
toast is passe
toast is almost a household name to many mac users
toast is a complex process with many devious twists and turns
toast is called "poor knight"
toast is your one stop site for all things mighty mighty bosstones
toast is launching in classic mode
toast is a much richer
toast is a medium brown toasted sp
toast is placed upon her skin
toast is frequently a general one with everyone drinking together
toast is to get the right staleness to the bread
toast is by far the most
toast is produced in pagemaker 6
toast is dropped
toast is the defacto industry standard for writing your own cd roms at home or the office
toast is offered before eating and serves to welcome the guests
toast is the best
toast is
toast is enough of a tribute to a woman who was a superstar in her own time
toast is ready it beeps pretty loudly
toast is finished writing
toast is getting a makeover
toast is at an "inuman
toast is to recognize the people you're toasting
toast is fully carbonized and runs natively in mac os x

Yummers.

So here I am posting on my blog, when wafts of delicious naturally flavored barbeque chips reach my nose... I can't resist eating them. But oh no! I have eaten the whole bag! What shall I do? My thighs can't cope with such a huge intake of chemicals, sugar, and fat.

I might as well have just eaten a flavored tub of lard. Oy vey.

The Happiest Place on Earth!!

Which also happened to be the wettest. We went to Disneyland today with the GAPP students. Even before we arrived, it was raining. There was not one moment of pure, unclouded sunshine. It was a potential disaster.

But then I realized that no matter what I did or said, nothing except a dryer was going to remove the moisture from my jeans, shirt, sweatshirt, hair, shoes, and socks.

So, I did what any thoroughly wet (yet happy) person would do. I played in the rain! I danced, I skipped, I jumped in a couple of puddles. I even got a few people to look at me funny while I squiggled my feet on Main Street.

I had lots of fun at Disneyland. Despite the millions of droplets of water that fell upon me.

So there was this pair of scissors...

I got my hair cut!! I'm so excited!

The lady felt bad about cutting so much off, but I couldn't help it. It had to go.

Firehydrant fun.

Today Mumsie, Merle, and I went to the beach after shopping. Isn't that the coolest firehydrant ever?!?! If I was a fireman...er... I mean fireWOMAN, I would be very impressed. Wouldn't that be a great job? Kay, please comment on this:

Would you rather paint firehydrants for a living with whatever pictures you want, OR be one of those completely silver guys in San Francisco who paint themselves one color?

I personally would rather paint firehydrants. But that's just me.

Transmission from Agent Ni.

It has come to my attention as Ni-Ni Poopykins, commander of the Family Protection Agency, that Kelsey has been engaging in activities that may endanger her sleeping and eating habits. These dangerous activities include, but are not limited to, excessive work on so-called "homework," as well as interactions with "friends." The aforementioned "homework" has often kept her up late into the night, interrupting my evening habits and reducing her hours of sleep from 1o hours to a mere 6.12 hours. It has also planted ideas in her head about various types of government. If she keeps doing it, she may realize that I'm about to engage in a coup of her parents' government-like rule over the household...

This education must stop immediately, for it is ruining my chances of rising to power and CONTROLLING THE FAMILY! MWAHAHAHA!

Ahem, excuse me. As I was saying. Friends are also taking away time from the maintainence of "us." Kelsey doesn't pet me as much as she used to, which I can only assume can be attributed to her "friends."

I am not trying to ruin Kelsey's life. I am only calling for Revolution and Reform! I am calling for Petting, Hugging, and Quality Time for the Feline!

In fact, from now on, I shall be known as MussoliNiNi Mao Zecat! I will use my amazing cuteness to conquer, to liberate, and to create the Holy Roman Democratic Republic of MussoliNiNi Mao Zecat. (Note: It won't be holy, it's definitly not Roman, it won't be a democracy as long as I'm in power, and representatives will be me, myself, and I)

This is the dawn of a new era! If you would like to contribute to my efforts, click on the "comments" link below.

Over and out.

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028

Guess what today is?! Here are a few clues:
Albert Einstein (who happened to love MATH) was born on this day
It is March 14th
March is the third month of the year....

That's right, it's Pi Day!
YAy for Pi!
3.14.... well, just look at the title of my post. Or click here.

To celebrate, they sold pie at school, and Mumsie happened to be volunteering. I went and asked her for some pie... and she gave me a whole one! So I brought it back to The Lunch Table where we ate all of the pie.

It was so delicious, I couldn't help but get a little messy.

A story. By me.

There once was a princess that lived in a duchy by the name of Pakatitoo. (pronunciation: pah-kah-TEE-too) Her name was Little Sparrow, but in actuality, she wasn't very little. Some would even go so far as to say that she was very NOT little. Fortunately, Little Sparrow was okay with that, for she wanted to be.... an o p e r a s i n g e r. She had singing lessons every day in the Royal Singing Lesson Chamber, and she practiced for hours on end just for fun. By the time Little Sparrow reached th age of 16, she was an absolutely wonderful opera singer.

Little Sparrow had another passion other than singing, and his name was Fem. Fem was the son of the local chalkboard-maker. Because of his status, lack of money, and lack of connections, their love was forbidden by the Laws of Social Intercourse that governed the land. This made Little Sparrow and Fem sad.

I could go on and tell you that Little Sparrow went on to be the best opera singer in the world, and that she lived happily ever after singing and singing with her true love, Fem, but that would be a lie. You see, Pakatitoo's neighbor, Minland, was home to the infamously evil Countess Sheyrahn. She wasn't really a countess, and Sheyrahn wasn't her real name, either, but she legally changed her name so that "Countess" was her first name. Anyway. Countess Sheyrahn was not only known for her evil tendencies but for her jealous, malicious heart as well.

Now, what usually happens in stories involving uncommonly talented princesses and jealous countesses?
Exactly.
Princess Little Sparrow suffered from a mysterious illness that ruined her voice, and altered her hearing so that she could not hear that her voice was ruined. (I wonder who could have done that?!)
Little Sparrow's father, King Edvard Fabio Kakanti Hemingway XVIII, felt so bad about the whole thing that he didn't have the heart to tell his daughter the truth, so he simply sound-proofed the Royal Singing Lesson Chamber.

In his flustered state, the King forgot that his daughter greatly enjoyed roaming Pakatitoo's many flower-covered hills singing "The Sound of Music." So, tired of being cooped up in the considerably smaller Royal Singing Lesson Chamber, Little Sparrow went off to roam and sing.

As Little Sparrow enjoyed the fresh air and the fragrant flowers, someone else was not so happy. Little Sparrow was oblivious to the fact just over the next hill was a lake, and in that lake lived a group of Extremely Beautiful Mermaids Wearing Shells. Their Queen, Lilitanya, was obsessed with beautiful things, and would not allow anything otherwise to be in her presence. When she heard Princess Little Sparrow's singing, she nearly screamed. Collecting her wits, Queen Lilitayna pointed her shell-encrusted wand in Little Sparrow's general direction, and blasted a spell so strong that it reverberated throughout the duchy of Pakatitoo.

It was a spell of Silence.

Little Sparrow was knocked over by the force of the spell. When she had righted herself, the princess realized that she could not hear anything. Dazed and confused, she staggered back to the castle, hoping that the royal surgeon would be able to fix things. Little did she know that the town, including the royal surgeon, was in an uproar of the worst kind: it was silent.

When Little Sparrow arrived, she couldn't believe her eyes. Everybody was yelling at everybody else. Well, she didn't really know that everyone was yelling, but their mouths were gaping open and pumping up and down, so she figured that's what they were trying to do. Scared that the masses of angry people would do something rash, she ran to the castle and up to the Throne Room of Wonderfulness, where her father usually sat and enjoyed the perks of being King.

Little Sparrow found the king with a huge pile of cotton-tipped ear cleaners to the left of his throne, and a pile of things that should make loud noises on the right. It was at that precise moment that a feeling of horrid dread filled Little Sparrow as she realized that extent of this sudden deafness. No wonder everyone was yelling. Nobody could hear!

Quickly, Little Sparrow dashed off to the Royal Learning Chamber and fetched as many chalkboards as she could hold, and grabbed a box of chalk as well. She then distributed them to as many people as possible, which totalled 4 people. Of course, this simple action gave the people of Pakatitoo an idea of how to communicate with one another. In a matter of minutes, hundreds of people were swarming outside of Charlie's Charming Chalkboards, the shop owned by Fem's father. In one hour, their whole inventory of 657,452 chalkboards were sold. At five pieces of silver each, Fem and his father were suddenly in posession of 3,287,260 pieces of silver.

As the last chalkboard was bagged for the last customer, Fem had an epiphany.

"I'm RICH!!" he yelled.

What Fem also didn't know was that King Edvard Fabio Kakanti Hemingway XVIII was filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy.

A few weeks later, after an incredibly romantic proposal involving a microphone and a Mariachi band, Fem and Little Sparrow walked down the aisle of matrimony and, once the priest finished his spiel about "twoo wuv", were married! Of course, the whole ceremony was written out on a very large chalkboard, and the vows had to be done on special marriage chalkboards, but all in all, it was quite lovely.

Little Sparrow and her dear Fem lived blissfully ever after. Well, only until Fem got it into his head that he should save Pakatitoo from the Curse of Silence. (echo echo)

But that's another story.

Day of the Stakes. Beware.

Tomorrow is the Day of the Stakes. It's an annual tradition held at my school campus. Everyone decorates a standard wooden stake, then proceeds to smack every available surface. The best stakes are covered with paint-filled balloons. After all, messier is better.

Last year, my stake won "Best Design." I wanted to express my disdain for the existing system of milk carton recycling, so I covered my stake in (what else?) milk cartons, as well as other found materials.

The Day of the Stakes is such an important aspect of student life because it gives everyone the chance to express themselves and to speak out against important issues affecting us directly.

(The author reserves the right to change details of the blog-entry and to add details as she sees fit. Therefore, the above information may not be accurate and/or true. In actuality, stakeholder's day is an open-house style event for the school to promote itself and to show parents the accomplishments of their children, but honestly, which version is better?)

I got bored at school, as usual...

The wonders of plastic surgery.

Today I went to the Wild Animal Park! I got a makeover. Don't you just love my new ears?! Laina doesn't look too excited about hers, though.

Kelsey: Wow, I can hear things miles and miles away!

Laina: This sucks.

Kelsey: But they're so useful! I can collect water in mine. Look! *tilts head and collects water in ears* That tickles.

Laina: You are so weird. I can't believe I'm related to you.

Kelsey: Party pooper.

Laina: Ears have absolutely nothing to do with parties! GOSH.

Kelsey: Mine are better than yours!

Laina: *mumbles incoherently under her breath* What-EVER.

Would you rather...

... eat five raw eggs or stub your toe intermittently over a period of 7.65 hours?
... have your lips tattooed pink or wear cat-eye glasses with rhinestones for the rest of your life?
... marry the Lord of the Dance guy or share a house with a squad of overly serious cheerleaders?

Ponder these questions. Then tell me.

I would rather eat five raw eggs because it would be horrible to know that I'm going to stub my toe intermittently but not know exactly when.
I would rather wear cat-eye glasses for the rest of my life on the off chance that they'll be "in" again.
I would rather share a house with the cheerleaders because that Lord of the Dance guy has legs that are possessed by something otherworldy. It's kind of freaky.

Doo wop doo wop!

Look at Laina! She has a father-daughter dance tonight. My mom and grandma made her poodle skirt, which is oh so cute and swishy. *pang of jealousy* Y'know, I met Teylor at my 6th grade father-daughter dance.

On the road again... is the cheesiest title ever!

Well, yesterday I was feeling a little discouraged about my driving abilities. However, today I decided to try learning how to shift in my dad's car. He drove us down to the school's parking lot, and I practiced letting out the clutch, and then putting on the gas, etc. I killed the engine a couple times... or maybe 10 times. Hehe.

Anyway, my dad kind of tricked me into driving onto the street, and then I ended up driving all the way home! I was going so slow because I was afraid of making a mistake. If you've ever been to my house, you'll know what I mean. *obvious wink wink* When I was driving home, I only killed the engine three times! I was quite proud of myself. Plus, I was able to get the car going on the hills.

Only 181 days til I can get my license!