Oh to be a chipmunk...

I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday. I feel like there's this whole part of me missing... Actually, four parts of me. My body is making up for the loss by making my cheeks quite large and puffy. How kind.

Happy Blog-versary to me!

That's right! My blog-versary is today, making it one year old. Ah, how things have changed since that first post! I mean, nowadays Earth has been invaded by aliens, we all teleport, school is no longer boring...

Hm. That must've been something I dreamed last night.

In reality, nothing has changed very much, although I'd like to say I've grown as a person by expressing myself through this 21st century medium. *stifles giggles*

Thank you, to my infrequent and few readers! It is for you that I write! Well, not really, but you can go on thinking that.

Until next time, aufwiedersehen.

Well, if you MUST complain...

This is the Birmingham Complaints Choir, a group of people who responded to an advertisement and came up with a decidely artistic response to the unpleasant aspects of life in general. So, if you must complain, sing a song and improve someone else's day. :)

*Sings* I want my money back... My job's like a cul-de-sac...

Fishing = slow.

Yesterday I went fishing with my fairy godmother. We drove out to a small pond, sat down, and cast our lines into the water. Six hours later, I had pulled up an old boot, a lava lamp, two soggy origami cranes, three typewriter keys, and a scuba mask.

"Fishing sucks," I said, disappointed with my lack of fish.

"Perhaps it does dear, but do you know what the lesson from this experience is?" asked my fairy godmother.

"Umm..."

"The lesson is this: people do not care about the environment and throw their trash anywhere they please, including in this pond, thus killing the fish and ruining our outing!"

I stared at her with wide eyes. I'd never seen her so angry in my life.

"Oh, and one more thing," said my fairy godmother, "Sometimes, there just aren't enough fish in the pond. That's when you've got to remember that there's a whole sea out there."

"How long does it take to get to the pier from here?" I asked. "I want to go fishing there."

"About an hour," she replied.

"Well, I'll just have to start fishing late," I said.

If it's illegal, is it still art?

The graffiti in London is far superior to that in Los Angeles. Theirs moves, and skateboards, and dances... why can't ours do that?!

On a more serious note, political commentary seems like a more worthwile reason to deface public (and private) property than for gang-related reasons.

For instance, take a look at this: http://www.banksy.co.uk/menu.html

Quite inspiring.

Having pie with your whipped cream?

That's right, folks. Underneath all that whipped cream is a piece of pie. Who would've thought? This atrocity of synthetic sweetness and Thanksgiving leftovers is the product of my father's attempt to satisfy his sweet tooth. It seems that over the years he has become more lax in regards to the amount of sugar I am allowed to intake after dinner. What an interesting development... Perhaps it is to test my self-restraint. Of course, he of all people should know that I have no self-restraint when it comes to dessert. ;)

Me and Mini-me (a.k.a. Master Kelstiki and the Young Padawan)

Bangs... nose... glasses... I think Laina needs a new stylist. I mean, her current one is so copying my look.

An interesting tidbit of news from the wonderful world of science.

Scientists develop 'cloak of invisibility'
Now you see it, now you don't
by Greg Doublewank


A joint US and British team of scientists have successfully tested a cloaking device they claim can "hide" an object by bending microwaves around it.
Although in its infancy, this embryonic technology is said to be making US Military supremos harder than a North Korean nuclear bunker.
"The possibilities are endless," stated head boffin, Professor H. Potter. "With this technology at a military's disposal, you could theoretically hide bombers, tanks, even large ships such as aircraft carriers."
Our science and technology reporter, Jocelyn Thrutch, was present at the demonstration, where a small copper disc was made to "disappear". Scientist Dr. A. Dumbledore explained: "This phenomenon is best described in the analogy of water moving around a smooth rock. When water recombines, having passed around the rock, someone looking downstream would never guess it had passed around an obstruction, lending an apparent perception of invisibility."
The US Army's General V. Oldermort enthused: "Why with this here deevice attached to say, the 1st US Armoured Division, we could sneak up right on top of old Kim and give him one straight in the ass! Where do I sign?!"
British military observers were however more sanguine in their endorsement of the new technology and it's application. "Not having a great deal of military hardware to begin with," murmured Major-General R. Weasley, "I cannot see any benefit in spending billions of tax-payers pounds in hiding a couple of Challengers and an old wheelbarrow anyway."
There is no civilian potential for this type of exotic technology on the cards at the moment, although Professor Potter joked: "I imagine every schoolboy would leap at the chance at being able to raid the Tuck Shop unseen!" Hmm….

http://www.therockalltimes.co.uk/2006/10/23/cloak-of-invisibility.html

Note from me: Who knew Harry was so intelligent? I thought he was just really good at getting into trouble and using simple spells to foil the world's most dangerous wizard...

I am feeling awkward.

The allegory of the corporate ladder.

Success is what you define it. For instance, these crabs think that success is getting to the top of the pile, when in reality they will be eaten first. Some may not think that is success, but the crabs might, since it will mean the end of their misery.

Wow, that's depressing!

I just wanted to write something as wise as my dear little niece did... minnesotaniece.blogspot.com Her insight is an inspiration to us all.

Please don't kill me, Boba Fett!

Today Laina and I were blessed with the following decree: no school! In honor of this auspicious day, my dad took off work and my mom took a break from working endlessly and we all went to see a movie and play Monopoly.

Monopoly, if you didn't already know, is a very serious game in my family. It not only requires skill and strategy, but also a sophisticated level of fortunateness. Today, my friends, I was very fortunate.

At one point in the game, each of us was fairly equal to the others in regards to property and capital. However, I took advantage of my money and blew it all on hotels in hopes of trapping one of my fellow players. As they came closer and closer to my properties, my stomach knotted up and I wondered if the dice would be good to them. Lucky for me, they weren't. First, Laina landed on my property. She had to pay me almost all of the cash she had. Then my dad landed on my property. The same fate befell him. I didn't expect such success, so I was surprised when my mom landed on my land as well. Luck was not on her side, unfortunately, for since she had doubles, she had to roll again. Her second roll landed her... two spaces away within the same monopolized property.

Needless to say, I won. But the story here, boys and girls, is that money is everything! Oops, did I say that? I mean... um... money is not everything and one shouldn't step on one's family members to reach the top.

Unless you're playing Monopoly.

Disclaimer: I'm not as huge a Star Wars fan as you think! Despite the fact that there are three references as of today on my home page... Hmm.... maybe I need to reevaluate myself and my hobbies.

Teylor = party.

Pirates vs. Ninjas: Part II


Also see: Kung Fu baby.

Pirates vs. Ninjas: Part I

Old enough to have grandkids.

Bunny beware.

Attack of the giantly cute bunny wabbit!

Last seen: Barnes and Noble

Contact 1-866-REPORT2 to notify authorities about this dangerous predator.

Remember, you have the power to make a difference.

Peace out.

Oh My (Insert word other than G-d here)!!!!

It may not look like it, but the above photograph depicts a very excited licensed driver. She would like to thank her parents for providing a car to drive, and for paying the insurance bill. Also, the aforementioned licensed driver needs a job, and would like to request your help in the matter. She extends her deepest thanks, and dances excitedly as she thinks about driving.

Noda (Noor + Yoda)

Noor: Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger; anger leads to hate; hate leads to suffering.

Thankfully, I don't sense any fear in you because I'm just so cute! Heehee!

Oh, and for copyright reasons, the first two sentences are not my creation. But who cares? I look like Yoda! (starts singing the Yoda song)

Kelsey: Um, Noor, what are you doing posting on my blog again? I thought I told you that this was for me.

Noor: Well, you haven't updated in a while so I decided to help you out. Hmph. Oh, and by the way, I am no longer Noor. I have changed my name to Noda. (sings song again)

Kelsey: ...yes...well then...

Adventures in life, friendship, and cantaloupe.

The other day, Queen Kelstiki was lonely in the Tiki Tower, so she called her dear friend, the Great Robiniski. They hadn't seen each other for quite a long while, so they decided to meet at the Tiki Tower within the week.

The activity (and inactivity...) that followed was astounding! Queen Kelstiki and the Great Robiniski passed the time playing DDR, watching "A Knight's Tale," vegetating, sleeping, eating, but most of all, talking!! That was probably the best part, for Queen Kelstiki had been quite deprived of such female bonding.

Needless to say, both were quite exhausted from staying up till 3:30 am, but that was nothing a little make-up couldn't hide. ; )

First Monopoly, then the World!

Today Laina and I were bored (of course).

Kelsey: What do you want to do?
Laina: I dunno.
Kelsey: Wanna play a board game?
Laina: Like what?
Kelsey: I dunno... Othello, or Monopoly?
Laina: Nah. Well. I guess we could play Monopoly.
Kelsey: Kay.

(5 minutes later)

Kelsey: So... wanna go play now?
Laina: Yeah, I guess.

(10 minutes later)

Kelsey: Laina, how come you have so much money?!
Laina: I didn't buy all the property I landed on, unlike someone I know...

(15 minutes after that)

Laina: I'm winning! Ha! I'm building on Endor!
Kelsey: >__< Oh no! I might have to pay you zillions of dollars! GAh...

(Later)

Kelsey: Heehee, now I have Yavin Four and all of Tatooine! And they've all got star-ships! MWAHAHA.
Laina: O__O I'm gonna die.
Kelsey: >:D

(2 hours later)

Laina: I'm depressed.
Kelsey: I won!! Woo!!

By the end of the game, I owned one property from Hoth, all four space-ships, Tatooine complete with star-ships, Yavin Four with star-ships, Cloud City, the Throne Room of the Death Star, both utilities, and all of Endor, with three cities each.

I am ruler of the Star Wars Galaxy!!

All hail Queen Kelstiki!